Secularity vs. God’s Word
As I scroll through social media, in many forms, I cant help but shake my head in sadness at the various memes, personal posts, blogs and advice I come across on how to deal with, what to, or not to put up with, or what to accept, in marriage. I can’t count the number of times throughout my 21 year marriage I’ve been given unsolicited advice from a secular, today’s horrible society taught, view point. Many times that advice or unsolicited opinion came from those who either have never had a real and lasting relationship (but they’re experts you know), or someone who was willing to walk away from the one they had.
The advice you should receive for a long lasting relationship, for both male and female, is get over yourself. Put the other one first, above all others with the exception of Jesus. Put their needs, wants, and thoughts above your own. Put God at the center of your marriage and make Him your priority. Pray for your spouse and your relationship. Pray for God to change your heart and mind according to his will. Pray that your marriage will glorify God and not your own ego. Pray for your spouse in a selfless way. Serve your spouse without expectation.
The same people who gave me horrible advice in the past, for instance….people dont change….you just arent right for each other…… you should move on …… you fight often, therefore you shouldnt be together….., are still single today with no real relationship to speak of. Relationships are work. Hard work. They are never perfect in any way, shape, or form. No matter who you are with, you will have problems of some sort, because you are human. Marriage is sacred and God given. He wouldnt have brought you together if you werent supposed to be together.
We all have free will and can certainly make our own choices…..and none of us are free from the consequences of every choice we make. So, if your relationship or marriage is going through difficulties, it is because of the selfishness and sin of each of you. If you put each other above yourselves in every way, your relationship can be everything you’ve ever imagined. With that being said, if one of you makes a mistake or one of you hurts the other, that doesnt give you a right to walk away because that seems easier. If you’re married you took vows, which should mean something to you.
Seek God, pray individually, and together. It may be awkward at first but it will change your relationship for the better. Seek counseling from a God fearing counselor or psychologist. Seek advice and confide in God fearing, believers. Put your faith in God and each other. Support and encourage one another, and most importantly, and most difficultly, forgive one another. Most friends dont have ill intent, though there are many who do, so be very selective in who you confide in. Know that, if your “friend” is encouraging you to do things that God says married people shouldn’t do, if your “friend” is encouraging you to move on, they are NOT really your friend.
A real friend would encourage you to abide by God’s word, would hold you accountable for your actions, and would encourage you to work things out with your spouse. I’ve made my fair share of mistakes and so has my husband. Many because we bought into the message of secular society instead of focusing on the message of God. Thank the Lord we never listened to our so called “friends”. Together, we learned that the most important guidance we should be seeking daily is from God, through scripture and prayer. I hope and pray that all married couples do the same. You can’t take advice from lost sinners if you want to find your way.